Serene Peace

For the first time in eight months since I landed in Manila, I went to the Power bookstores in Green Belt. Well not many know of my love for books and the fact that I love reading though I am not a voracious reader like many of my friends back home.

However back to the main topic. The Power bookstore brought back memories of Crosswords back in Mumbai and Pune.

The 2nd floor of the store had ample of place for people to sit and read as well as reference the books. Oh what a peaceful experience...
I have been craving for such peace and quiet where I could just spend a few hours going through books and enjoy the surroundings. Well now I know where to go...:)

However the books in this country are really expensive, though the collection at Power was quite impressive but looking at the prices of the books gave me an instant heart attack.

It's been such a long time since I actually went and splurged on books. I remember in Pune I used to pick up books every 20-25 days even if I had a backlog to read already.

Actually I already have a backlog of 5 books here in AIM since Harsh & Nash as well as Nishant n Shubho gave me books to read.

Well so in the next 20 days I plan to finish at least 3 of these books so that my backlog for the new year would be kept to a minimum...

End of an Era...

Well no one loves good byes least of all me. However all my life I have been one of the last ones to say goodbye to everything be it while leaving school, engineering college or my organization.

Seeing off people has become like a second occupation for me...It was never easy when I went off to see most of my friends from engineering to the airport every other nite. However saying goodbye to friends whom I met not even 8 months ago has been a difficult experience here at AIM...

They have been my family for the past 8 months and we have practically shared all our happiness and sorrows with each other...Every other night has been made memorable thanks to the late night drinking sessions or just the b.S sessions which we would indulge in whenever not drinking.

The last 8 months are fresh in my mind and each day has been a special one.

For the last few days cohort 3 guys have been consoling me and telling me that there will be another set of friends which will make the remaining journey more exciting that what has been till date. I don't repudiate that...However there is an uneasiness at the back of my mind about how the next 8 months will span out...

I know I am surrounded by wonderful people around me and the next 8 months will be a beautiful experience in the MBA institute but my mind and more importantly heart is not willing to accept the inevitable.

The realization will dawn during the next pool party whenever it is, since the usual faces will be missing and new faces will surface to take up the mantle and the onus of carrying the torch will fall on the new batch of students from cohort 5.

Well cohort 3 as I have said before, it has been a absolute pleasure...You have been the best kind of seniors any incoming batch would have prayed for.

To my set of friends, the life and times that we have shared with each other will be remembered for a long time. The secrets we shared, the BS by the poolside, the insightful CP and the drunken revelry will all be cherished...

As I look into the future, I know I'll not find friends like the ones who have left but I am still excited by the next 8 months of my AIM life and beyond.

As KK and Shubho told me not so long back..."Tera MBA toh aab shuru hoga...Term 3, AC period and term 4...Aish karega tu abhi"...

Well cheers to each member of the legendary cohort 3...Wish you guys all the very best...And once again it has been an absolute pleasure...

Vanilla Twilight...

The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Poor me a heavy dose of atmosphere
Cause I'll dose off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd sent a postcard to you dear
Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light blue
But It's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly
The silence isn't so bad
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad
Cause the spaces between my finger are
Right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find a pose in new ways
For I haven't slept in two days
Cause cold nastalgia chills me to the bone
But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist deep in thought because when I think of you
I don't feel so alone
I don't feel so alone
I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink
I'll think of you
Tonight
I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes
Get brighter
And heavy wings
Grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again
And I'll forget the world
When I do
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh, if my voice could reach back to the past
I'd whisper in your ear
Oh darling,
I wish you were here.

-Owl City...

Music

Well after all the depressing post I have written in the last few days I want to pen down some happy thoughts...

Well I would like to talk about the music I am listening to now a days...

"Owl City" is the latest band I am listening to now a days and I love their music and mixing. Just in love with the music, voice and the lyrics of most of their songs...

Just a short background on them:-

Owl City is an American synthpop musical project. It consists of Adam Young and his backing band. The name comes from Adam's hometown Owatonna, Minnesota. Young started out making music in his parents' basement,which he claims is a result of his insomnia.

Well so much for the background...

Now to the crux of the matter...

I love their single " fireflies" Don't know why but I just love the music and the lyrics of that song...It seems to be favorite song now a days. I tend to listen to it at least 3-4 times everyday...

Thanks to groove shark, I have a play list of only their songs and the minute I am back in my dorm room the music is blasting full on on my earphones listening to them non stop...

Here is how the lyrics of the song go...


You would not believe your eyes,
If ten million fireflies,
Lit up the world
As I fell asleep.

'Cause they fill the open air,
And leave teardrops everywhere,
You think me rude,
But I would just stand and stare.

I'd like to make myself believe,
That planet Earth turns slowly,
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep,
'Cause everything is never as it seems...

'Cause I'd get a thousand hugs,
From ten thousand lightning bugs,
As they tried to teach me
How to dance.

A foxtrot above my head,
A sockhop beneath my bed,
A disco ball is just hanging by a thread. (Thread, thread)

I'd like to make myself believe,
That planet Earth turns slowly,
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep,
'Cause everything is never as it seems... (When I fall asleep)

Leave my door open just a crack. (Please take me away from here)
'Cause I feel like such an insomniac. (Please take me away from here)
Why do I tire of counting sheep? (Please take me away from here)
When I'm far too tired to fall asleep. (Please take me away from here)

To ten million fireflies,
I'm weird 'cause I hate good-byes,
I got misty eyes when they said "Farewell",

But I'll know where several are,
If my dreams get real bizarre,
Cuz I saved a few and I keep them in a jar.

I'd like to make myself believe,
That planet Earth turns slowly,
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep,
'Cause everything is never as it seems...

(When I fall asleep)

I'd like to make myself believe,
That planet Earth turns slowly,
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep,
'Cause everything is never as it seems...

(When I fall asleep)

I'd like to make myself believe,
That planet Earth turns slowly,
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep,
Because my dreams are bursting at the seams...

Impasse...

Impasse...Dictionary meaning...

–noun

1.	a position or situation from which there is no escape; deadlock.

2.	a road or way that has no outlet; cul-de-sac.

How apt...I find myself in a situation where there is no escape.Whichever path I choose, I am already in trouble with a capital "T"...

I have not slept a wink all night...Read nothing nor studied...Just whiled away my time waiting for this impasse to end...Well happy waiting Mr. Das...

I so wished I had a squash racket and a court to play at the moment...Even a football will do but playing that alone wouldn't be fun...:)...

Well the only solace I can find is through music and blogging and I am at it, full on...

Was good talking to dad back home.Though we spoke about business as usual, but it was such a nice feeling listening to a voice which never judges me or my actions...

Knowing myself, I know for sure that things with in me have changed in the last few months...What has changed n why I am still not able to zero in on...But yeah there is definitely something amiss here...Anyways that will take care of itself...

Coming back to my favorite situation now a days the impasse situation doesn't cease to end...

Well I guess I'll just have to fight my way back from this situation just the way I have done till now in my life...

Best Pool side party ever...

I never ever in my dreams thought that a poolside party at AIM without music would be so much fun...Well now I know...

Thanks to Shiva n Deepti tonight has been one of the most forgettable nites for me in my short but sweet stint in AIM history...

For the first time in a long time I laughed my guts out for close to 4 hours listening to anecdotes of Shiva and Deepti and their marriage as well as their love affair which is going strong since college.

It brought back memories of my engineering college days and the dreams and aspirations I had then...However none the less tonight was made special by this dynamic couple who understood each other very well and had no inhibition in sharing their life with us...

Cheers to you both...One of the most hilarious nites and also the most fun filled night in my AIM history...

I have to admit I never really thought that I was going to laugh so much tonight but I guess god has his own way with his people and after a somewhat frustrating day where I tried to do everything to please people around me I still fell short. Though my efforts were genuine the end result was far from satisfactory.

However after going through the physical as well as mental agony about the whole thing God blessed with me these 3 hrs where I was all over in love with the concept of loving n feeling...

The kinds of joke which Shiva easily narrated about his father in law as well as his father and also about his impending wedding were too hilarious not to laugh...

He had all of us in split and I am glad to have come across such people who make our day a bit more bearable and reasonable...

All in all a wonderful experience and one of the best poolside parties ever in AIM sans music...

Cheers...

Mindfucked...

Disclaimer:- If you want a happy post to read and feel good...turn away from this page...Ain't happening today...:(

Freaking pissed off in life right now.With myself, with my life, with my surroundings...Every second day I feel like running out of this place and go to my safe abode. I am fed up putting up a happy demeanor for everyone around me...Seriously man!!

Bloody I am suppose to understand everyone's problem (n by this I don't mean you Meg so don't draw any conclusions here...plz...) but when it comes to myslef I am left to fend it off for myself. Agreed I prefer it that way n I can even handle it but atleast give me my space.

I hate this stifling life I am leading...I guess one of the reasons could be the amount of free time I am affording myself... I really need to get busy again n invest my time intelligently and into more productive things.

On top of that, most people here are preoccupied with their own things, I don't even know whom to run to...I the one person I could run to, I can't because of my own insecurities...

I know this blog is going to piss a lot of people but I am taking the chance because it's the only way I can get this frustration out of my system...

It really pisses me off when people say that they know me really well and know the reason behind my every action. Cmon... Even I don't know what I am going to do the very next moment and then you tell me that you know me... plz give me a break here...

I kind of remember my college days where I practically spent my whole day wiling away my time just to wait for evening when I could get to Sambit's building to play football and express myself completely...

It been such a long time since I have expressed myself completely. First there was football in Pune to do that, but then I quit the company. Then I had squash to rout out my frustration and express myself completely. But what now... Alcohol doesn't work for me cause that will be like too saddistic...I don't like the gym that much to exhaust all my energy over there and with blogs it leads to unneccesary confusion and mindless squabbles.

Well then what am I suppose to do... I can't let this affect me anymore...I need to take control of my life and it begins right now...

I have been wiling away time for the past 4-5 years doing nothing productive and its high time I repay my parents for their love, devotion and trust.

I hear where you coming from now Divya... May be I am neglecting the major things in life for the not so major frills of life at the moment.

And yeah, the temper is flaring up again...I guess this MBA experience is really testing my patience in anger management. I remember losing my cool before too but now days I am on such a short fuse that I don't know what n why am I doing?

N on top of that, I hate people crying and especially because of me... There are already a few people who have cried because of me and I hate it... I don't think I am ever going to forgive myself for making people in my life crying...People who care for me and really love me , end of crying too...I just don't get the drift...

Anyways enough of rambling...This one could open up another pandora box tomorrow but I really don't care anymore...My sentiments are pouring out and I am liking it...

Whatever happens next, it will take care of itself...

Last of the WAC's...

Time:- 4.34 am
Date:- 3rd-Dec-09
Occasion:- Submission of my last WAC...

6 months back I submitted by 1st WAC amidst a lot of fan fare and enthusiasm all around.
Today after having completed the last of the 8 official WAC's which we are suppose to submit in order to receive a grade in WAC; there was a sense of relief and nostalgia rather than happiness and fulfillment.

The fact that this was our 3rd WAC in lest than a week also eroded me of my enthusiasm for the last WAC. However all things said and done another important part of AIM has ended for better or worse.

It has been so much fun writing these WAC's and it has been made even more fun due to the company which I have during these WACs.

Hence as I remember the list of the WACs written over the last 6 months ranging from HBO to marketing to economics to OM to FM to GM and last but not the least ABS, the nostalgic feeling resurfaces again and all the fond memories of those WAC nights come flowing into my mind.

I remember going through some ex-AIM student's blog before coming here and one thing he didn't fail to highlight was the excitement as well as the agony and tension of the WACs.
After having read that post I was dreading whether I will ever be able to do justice to these cases but after having survived the first half of my MBA without any major blip I can now safety say that it has been a pleasure taking on those WACs in the last 6 months and pouring out my B.S. as well as WACkiness on each one of them.

I close one more chapter in my AIM life, which is diminishing at an alarming rate.

Should I be happy or sad...that is the question ?...

Marriages Galore

It's really the season of weddings back home in India. There are so many of my friends from engineering who are getting hitched this December and a lot many more who tie the knot in the first few months of 2010...

I can't believe that it's already 4.5 years since I passed engineering and here I am sitting in a B-School and blogging about my friends from college getting married. Well time surely flies by quickly.

I remember Sweta's wedding, when me and Hitesh had an interesting conversation about who in our batch will get married next and when.Well as far as that prediction is concerned, I am happy that 70% of that has come true. Hence good job Hitesh...We really should have opened a marriage bureau then...

Well for all the couples set to get hitched in the next few months...My best wishes and I wish you guys have a blast in your new innings with your new batting and life partners.

Hence Irwan-Megha (the love story of college to see through till the end); Rushil-Krishna; Saunil-Ami; Mansi-Chirag; Niti-Abhisek; Sanjay-Surabhi; Rounak-Kriti (only love story from school to see the light at the end of the tunnel :) ) and last but not the least Arpit-Sheetal...Add to the list Mahesh-Rashmi from Infy...and a lot many more who are on their way to be hitched in the coming year.

Take a bow and wish you all the very best for a bright future.

As for the remaining bachelors in the group and there are still many...Keep hitting and pitching...

Cheers...

Achilles' Heel

Every individual comes with his own set of strength and weakness in this world. It's an advantage if one is able to hide his/her weaknesses and leverage their strengths.
It's a big advantage if one can hide his/her major "Achilles Heel".

Well in my case the biggest blunder is my strength and weakness actually complement each other in most occasions. Given that I am such an extrovert and a friendly person , helps me to break ice with most people easily however at the same time my loud voice and my temper which seems to flare up at the most innocuous times and is something to be wary of.

However people close to me and who know me very well, know that it's just me being me and there is no malice in my actions what so ever when I am angry.Just that sometimes I am not able to control my emotions and the worst thing I can do at that time and which I try my best to control on most occasions is to have an outburst if not on any particular person, then just on myself.

I know sometimes it gets really scary, and I do have an idea about that too but I don't know why but since I have got to AIM, these bouts of sudden anger has really increased. There was a time where I had shut myself out from people just so as to not get into further trouble.

Is it because I am feeling uncomfortable in this environment or is it just a phase. Well it doesn't look like a phase to me given the fact that it's already been 7 months here in Manila. I have got used to life here and am comfortable in this surrounding. Then why is that at times I tend to just lose it even if it is just for a few seconds.

The biggest problem here is not the actual outburst but the aftermath of these outbursts. Apologizing to people was never a problem and I am most genuine about it but explaining them why I acted that way is a pain. Trust me if I knew why I do that I would have put a stop to that.

The only advantage of this problem which I can see is that my anger actually sometimes triggers me to do things which I would normally never think about doing. It motivates me to prove people wrong and challenge my own limits. However this advantage is far outweighed by the repercussions which this weakness of my tends to generate.

Checking Wikipedia the actual meaning of Achilles' Heel came up to be this:-

An Achilles’ heel is a fatal weakness in spite of overall strength, that can actually or potentially lead to downfall.

How true this seems in my case, more now than ever. I guess to some extent mom is also right. I have inherited my dad's anger. At least he has learnt with age to sober down but with me the only way I can actually not this affect my day to day life is by exerting myself more and more by playing. May be this is one reason I am so edgy here in AIM.

I try my hand in so many games but may be I am missing football and squash a lot. Well playing football now even after AIM is going to be a very difficult proposition, however I hope I get back to squash as soon as I get back home.

Well I guess this will be an open ended blog given the fact that I still haven't figured a solution to this problem. The only good thing as of now is that I know it is manageable. I guess I have to just take it easy and stop deciding on what I want n how I want things around me and let life decide the same for me for a while...

Week of unneccessary fights and confusion...

Is it something to do with the timing or is it just my plain bad luck. After having come to be in peace with myself over different issues in life, when everything seem to have settled down finally the events of unnecessary confusions and trouble seems to have surfaced.

What am I suppose to do when I get a bit agitated. Everybody has their own ways of letting out and I guess it's with in a person's right to handle the situation as and how he deems it to be.

Not that I am not trying or that I am angry and over the edge at all times but yeah when I am edgy, I am really edgy.

Anyways I guess, enough has been said and written about this before so I'll just let it be the way it is...

Well from now 1 thing is clear, no more planning and no more compromises. If things have to smoothen out they will else I'll run the tide.

As far as expectations are concerned I guess everyone around just says that they know me well and have figured me out completely inside out...Well I guess they are missing the whole point then. Figuring me out might seem very easy for most people but understanding me is a very difficult thing because sometimes I myself am not able to do so...

Well as I am anyways rambling about random stuff, another very important thing which I completely agree with is never to expect anything from anyone...That's the worse you can do...for yourself as well as for others. I guess I had that thing figured out in life already but lately I am myself realizing that I have been demanding a lot from people around me and this is now pissing me off more than anything else.

I guess a few days away from everything n everyone will help in a big way to deal with this situation and also to reassess.

Well I guess enough of pouring out my shitty thoughts at this time of the hour.Though I am not at all sleepy and as is the case I can never really sleep with unpleasant thoughts in my mind the best thing to do could be to watch a movie.

I'll contemplate on that and a lot other things.

Last Call fo CP...

3 cheers for Cohort 3.

Seriously, one the best batches of seniors I have seen in my life. Not that they are any older or younger than me but the love and adulation they showed us, the guys from cohort 4 since the day we landed up in Manila and AIM has been beyond description.

Yesterday was a wonderful grand finale for these guys and hats off to the organizers for throwing a fantabulous party for cohort 3. Looking at people getting drunk and enjoying themselves made me realize that within the next 20 days the faces which I so got used to seeing everyday wouldn't be around anymore. The voices which I have been hearing since the past 7 months will cease to chatter.

However what will remain are the memories of these wonderful times with these marvelous human beings.

The first nite of drinking transcended to every nite of drunken revelry first by the pool side then the beer garden and then finally at H2C and then to other parts of Manila...:)

The poker nights, the birthday party celebrations, those drinking sessions before an exam, watching cricket matches together will all be the memories left behind by C-3...Not to forget the cricket matches we played over the weekend or the table tennis games which are now a days in full flow...

To all my friends in Cohort 3...Once again thank you for making us a part of the family and guiding us through all the rough times here in AIM...

It has been an absolute pleasure to have been a junior to you guys...Cheers...

Fun at Table Tennis

For the past few days my evenings are spent playing incessant amount of table tennis here at AIM. The game which I learnt and honed during my engineering has really come in as a wonderful stress buster here in AIM even though there ain't any stress now a days at all...

The amount of fun which I have been having these days playing table tennis is beyond description. It's just the feeling of competition and the feeling of going back to being kids which makes this exercise such a wonderful experience in itself.

Hence for the past few weeks from 7 in the evening to 11 in the nite you'll find the small kids of AIM fighting it out at the table tennis area in full view of the adults trying to study around us.

The last few days at the game have been hilarious to say the least. It's more of a fun exercise than a competition but that doesn't mean that the games aren't serious. Each and every point is played with all seriousness but not without forgetting the fact that in the end we are here to enjoy the moment.

Also this being the last few days for cohort 3 guys it gives me more time with my friends to enjoy these moments.

The revelry will continue even without them but it will not be the same again...

Till then lets fight for each and every point...

Birthday Done!!

So many things in life is happening at the same time.Well I have realized that thinking doesn't help at all...The last few weeks have been a blur as far a education is concerned. I guess the priorities have changed all of a sudden and that's not a good thing at all...But given that the next 9 months will be the last of my so called education I guess I'll just live it up...

The birthday celebration was slow to start with but when the alcohol kicked into the system for everyone, it turned out to be a really unforgettable night for everyone I guess...Can't believe that a handful of us could consume 18 bottles of hardcore alcohol...Insane...

Also the fact that we have been drinking continuously for more than a forthnight now doesn't augur well for my liver and health in general. However it is a known fact that once cohort 3 goes back in Dec the party scene will also disappear along with them. I guess we'll just make up most of what we have for the next 20 days or so...

Well though I have turned 26, I still believe and think like an 11 year old in most aspects of life...If only I could survive doing that for the rest of my life...Wishful thinking...

However as another year passes and as I look back on the year gone by I have nothing but happy memories...It has been a bitter sweet symphony...

Lets see what's in store for me as 26 year old MBA graduate in the coming year....

Happy 26th birthday!!

It's T-30 mins to go for the party to commence and I just don't feel like joining in the revelry tonight.Dunno why?

May be it's from the drinking from last night or from the incessant partying that we have been doing for the past couple of weeks or may be because of the hype surrounding my birthday celebrations.

I guess this will be the first time I'll be celebrating my birthday on such a large scale.Can't believe that I am going to be 26 at the turn of the clock today.

Well will be missing out on celebrating my birthday with friends back home, but at the same time I am also looking forward to enjoying my birthday here with some really true and good friends.

I just hope this turns out to be a very good night for all of us...

Cheers...

Happy Finally...

Is it the lack of sleep from yesterday or the grueling 2 hour basketball match yesterday evening but I kind of feel happy today...Been a while since I could say that with full on conviction...

Well, I guess the tides are changing again...Well the best time of the year for me arrives in a month and I can't wait to experience the Christmas celebrations in this country.One of my life long dreams to experience the true spirit of Christmas and here is my chance.

Given the situation I find myself every now and often, it is amazing how I have kept my cool through most part during the past few weeks.

I guess I have made it a habit to blog during lectures now a days...I am actually entering this during an ABS lecture...Can you beat that...Am I paying 1500 pesos a class to do this...? I hope not...

By the way term 2 has been a drag as compared to term 1...Apart from GM classes which though interesting still can't get my full attention the rest of the classes are just crass and full of bs cp...

I have never been so disinterested in studies as I have been in this term...

Well I am looking forward to the 3 day weekend break to recharge my batteries , get a fresh perspective in life and enjoy some kick ass sports activity as well as find some time to party...

Given the amount of stress I have been taking these past few weeks, it makes sense for me to just step back and look at the bigger picture and relax myself for the struggles ahead...

Well enough said...I have rambled enough already...Now it's time for some Fifa for the next 20 mins before this class ends...

May be my next post will be more meaningful...

Football - My first love...

Thank God for football...I have no idea what I would have done without this sport...Since the first time I touched a football during my school days till date, I get such an adrenalin rush just watching a game of football that I can't put the feeling of how it feels to actually play it in words here.

My best time playing football were definitely after Xth std when I used to play football every night for at least 2 hrs. Sambit's building ground was my "Theater of Dreams" and it seemed that I owned the place...Wow I get goosebumps thinking about that time when playing football was the simplest thing I could do and at that time I was never had to be apprehensive about keeping my place in the team.I was always one of the first names on the team sheet.

This continued uptill my first and second year in engineering and I'll never ever forget the summer of 2002 when as part of the D.J.S.C.O.E team we won the the TSEc tourney for the first time...Wow what a tourney...I remember each and every game so vividly and it was so much fun playing with the seniors.Being the youngest in the team I was pampered so much by my teammates that I can't even comprehend.Year 2 was fun too but without any success...

3rd year of engineering was the most stressful as well as the most successful campain for me personally.It didn't help that I got injured before the start of the season but it was more diffucult to sit out in the sidelines after being fully fit.Not that the team wasn't doing well and that I wasn't getting game time but just sitting on the sidelines for 2/3rd of the game didn't really help me pshcologically. However as luck would have it I got my chance again in the TSEC tournament and I lead the attack scoring 4 goals in the tournament.However the season ended with a heartbreak as we lost our final match of the seaon on penalties and I was the one who scwered up the final penalty kick.

Well 4th year came and went and though we played a lot of matches in the final year, the feeling of camaradie amongst the teammates had dissappeared. It didn't feel like I was part of the team anymore.

Anyways the 4 years in D.J.S.C.O.E were the best as far as playing football and cricket went.Playing with classmates & friends was always fun and my whole engineering life revolved arounf the black and white ball...All I can say for that is I am happy with the memories.

Infosys Football Team:-

Enough said...The 3 years in Pune couldn't have been better as far as football was concerned.Though I never cemented my place in the final 11 till the end, it was pleasure knowing the guys and playing football with them when ever the oppurtunity presented itself. The fact that it was one of the most successful teams in the Pune IT circuit really helped keeping the dissappointment of not making the playing 11 consistently at bearable proportions but the fun I had in practice with the guys was something I'll always cherish.What a gang we had there...Oh boy...It brings a tear to my eye when I think about the batch of footballers we had in our group and the way we practised and the way we played and after winning more importantly the way we partied.

Well it's been 6 months here in the Phillipines and I have played the beautiful sport only twice now. However I have high hopes for this weekend.Hopefully I'll be able to enjoy the game the way I want and let myself go...Oh boy what would I do without football...

Plain and Simple...

Thanks Bindi for the scolding in the comment.I guess I don't have to complicate my life anymore...It's too complicated anyways to even think about getting it more complicated further.

I guess the best advice I have got and that's from you Bindi, is to just go on with life and enjoy each moment as it comes. Time will be the healer for everything I guess...

I am too young anyways to stress too much in life and bullocks to the world...

Understood loud and clear...I guess it's time to move on and experience new things along the way as well as think more intently about life after MBA...

So from today, the agenda each day is to do only simple things & enjoy the small moments in life...

That means playing football this weekend becomes the biggest priority and traveling the country as the second most important priority as of now.

Also I have to start focusing on studying in term 2 else I would be in a big ditch come term end.

Well I always plan things properly but never ever seem to be able to implement it till the end...
Lets hope this plan lasts at least a forth night.

Cheers...

Thank god I have people who actually know me well enough not to really judge me for my actions...

It's my life...Give me a break!!

Alright, agreed for the first time in my life I have gone ahead and done something which is very wrong in people's eye but for once I did something which I wanted to do...Something which felt right...Something which was there at the back of my head all the time, but which never ever came to the fore...

All my life I have been making sacrifices for people, be it my parents, friends, girl friends but in all this melee I always seem to forget about one important person---"Myself".

Okay agreed I have a lot of fun in life and can't actually complain about anything in my life, but does anyone around me ever realize how I manage to keep up with all the things around myself and still keep smiling most times.

I agree with people's view that I have a short fuse and that for the last 6 months here in AIM, I had had a few short fuses already but does anyone ever ask me why is it that I react that way to situations. Nobody see's when that when I make a mistake I'll be the first one to owe upto it and apologize without any ego involved but when it comes to judging people the knives are already sharpening.

Everybody seems to be such an expert in figuring out the kind of person I am but, I just wish ask one question to those people who believe they know me inside out..."How do you know me when I myself haven't yet figured that out yet?"...

I guess in this world the moment you forget about what people thing about you and just do what's important to you, that's the moment when everything starts making sense.

I know this senseless rambling isn't making any sense right now nor will it make anytime soon, but the minute I get this thing into my head that as hard as I try to please people around me and try to be in good books of everyone, the more stress and problems I am forcing onto my own life.

The fact that all through my life I have tried to keep everyone around me comfortable has been in the end my own bane. In the end of the day I know that there are a very few people who would never judge me for the decisions I take in life nor the choices I make but will stand blindly besides me even if I am on a course to self destruction.

ps:- Chai...Chill Maddi...Thanks for at least letting me know the general feeling around.I know it's difficult for people to digest but in the end it's my life...I don't want any approvals from anyone.Just live n let live...

Not that difficult to ask for...

The twisted way of fate...

How twisted can one get...? Is there really anything called fate in this world or is it just our imagination.Does God really have a path carved out for all of us or is it that we just keep walking on untrodden snow leaving our footprints behind not knowing where we are heading.

Is fate a reality or a figment of one's imagination.Everyone around says that "Naseeb main jo hota hai milega". but who is it that decides this "Naseeb" (fate). Is it us on our own or the environment around us, our parents or our friends or is it the mighty lord above us.

Sometimes I feel that there is nothing like fate at all.It's all in the mind. A human has his brain and mind to carve out his own destiny.All he needs is some luck and some sign for him to go ahead and get the job done.

As it is if fate had such an important role to play in everyone's life then wouldn't it been that every human would have just lazed around and let fate play it's part to perfection.

Given that there is a saying that " A man makes his own destiny" but is it really true? Is it really that a man can alone shape his own destiny without any guidance, sign or help.

I believe every successful and rich person in this world would have had one godfather or godmother whom he/she would like to thank from the bottom of his heart.

And for the rest there is the almighty?

I have no idea why am I writing about such an abstract topic.
I was thinking of putting down something else actually...

Anyways may be sometime later, when the times are better and I have finally settled in my own cocoon.

GM class on Coporate Ethics and Social Responsibilities

Today's class of General Management on Social corporate Ethics and Responsibilities was something which I could have done without. It was like a deja vu of all my feeling for the past few weeks and the unrest around me with my friends all screaming back at me.

The discussion on one's character, upbringing, moral sensitivity, ethical conduct etc was too much for me to handle. Wasn't it enough for me to be fighting my own demons that the universe conspires against me to this extend.

Well one thing which I did agree with during our discussion in class today was " the cost to be ethical could be both personal as well as generic". It's how you handle the stress which comes along with it.

I am done with all this shit of doing what is right and what is wrong.Agreed I have hurt someone really badly in this process but I have gone through the same thing sometime in my life and that's life in the end of it all...I am not pardoning myself from what I had done but the point is the problem was always there, just that the manner of it coming out could have been much better handled but well it wasn't to be...

I believe in " What goes around, comes around"...and I believe someday in life I'll be a deserved recipient of this saying and it's going to hurt like a bitch but till then, I should do what I feel like...

All said and done, nothing in this world is fair in most people's eye...It's just how you deal with the whole thing yourself, that's the most important thing...

In the end it really doesn't matter who was right and who was wrong, but what we gained and lost in the bargain...

Irony of life...

Why is that the human mind is never happy with what's on his plate at present.Why is it that he either wants what was there in the past or something which someone else has but he knows can't be had in the future.Then there are cases where he knows he has something great at the moment but not willing to acknowledge it at all...

Sometimes it easier to appreciate something when you have lost it rather than when we had it with us. The most appropriate example will be that of our childhood. When we were kids the only thing we wanted was to grow up quickly into teenagers and enjoy the thrill of reckless living. In the process we lost out on our childhood and also on the innocence of it all.

One of the biggest irony of life is you never get what u want, when u want. It's always either too soon or too late.Never perfectly timed. And by any chance if we do get to a situation which feels just right, we go ahead and ruin it by our stupid and idiotic behavior.

I guess, I have now mastered the act of jeopardizing my life. Whenever I feel relaxed and settled in life, I just tend to create a avalanche or a storm around me to disrupt my life altogether again.

Well I just hope at the end of this crossroad I'll be able to pick up the pieces...

Barely Breathing!

The aimless manner in which I have lived the past few weeks brings me to a very important question: Is it all worth it?...

I am barely enjoying life...
Barely surviving...
Barely thinking it over...
Barely sleeping...
Barely living...
n most importantly,

Barely thinking...

The clock keeps ticking and all I have to show for the last few days is more confusion and frustration.

Now I make the rules of the game simpler...It's either my way or the highway...

As one more Diwali away from home beckons, it's time to come out of all this turmoil and confusion and take a stand on all aspects of life...

Game on as far as I am concerned...

The crux of the situation still remains that:- it's my life...

Room no:-208

On a day when I had already decided at 5 am in the morning to bunk the first class of the day, my seemingly innocuous roommates decided to do exactly the same thing for the first time since I got to AIM 6 months back.

It's 8.16 am precisely and it's been 16 min since the class started and the last of my roommates from the adjoining condo just left the room for the lecture.The left side of 208 is still at it in their shorts and pajamas thinking about what to do for the next hour and a half.

As for me this morning has not at all been productive apart from the fact that this is my 3rd blog in the last 3 hrs...:)

Sometimes I feel that my life should have been confined just within these 4 walls of 208 with my fellow roommates. Life would have been so much easier to cope. Plus that would have meant that I only had to communicate with 5 more individuals apart from myself.I think I could have handled that in a much manner than the way I am handling the world at the moment.

Anyways there is exactly an hour to go for MCS and I am still stuck on the 3rd page of an 8 page case which has been lying open in front of me since 5.30 am...I better get going else the practice of waking up early in the morning will also not provide any perceivable advantage...

Mindless Rambling

Sometimes I wish, how I would have loved to have a command of the English language and write in an eloquent and polished manner using all the words and more which I learnt during my GRE days.

Then again, I beg to differ and feel nice about myself just because I am at least able to get words together to string sentences and progress to build paragraphs after paragraphs of crap.

I know a lot of people around me who hate the concept of blogging and don't like putting their viewpoints in front of the entire world but in my case I just don't care.I love doing this and blogging seems to sooth my mind and get me closer to myself. It kind of gets me all relaxed and happy even if I am not.

It also helps when most of the blogs I write is read by like only 2 people and that too occasionally. :)

But for me to reflect back and read my own blogs gets me all nostalgic as well as happy about the days I have spent and how I had reacted to those situations and circumstances.

I remember getting pretty excited in school whenever we used to have the annual essay writing competition.I only won a prize there like twice out of 6 years of participation but I used to love rambling off whatever I felt even if I didn't have what so ever idea about the topic.hee hee

I guess as I have grown up the situation hasn't changed much.I still don't know much about stuff and just ramble along what ever comes to my mind.

Well I guess now that I can't get my hands on a football on a regular basis here in AIM, nor can I play squash daily the best stress buster for me is to continue with blogging and writing crap load of shit to feed my underused brain.

How to alienate friends...

I am getting depressed now.The last few blogs are just a reflection of the amount of frustration I am going through...Yesterday after having one of the best 20-30 mins of a laugh riot of a conversation with my friends, the seemingly light hearted conversation had to turn nastly and full of tension because of just one micro second of my anger.

Now how do I make people believe that it's not something I do offhand and I have no fun getting heated up the wrong way. I agree with Nash and Nishant when they spoke to me yesterday night.This has been happening too often and with too many different people for me to even comprehend.

For the last 2 months I have been on a path of self restrain from anything which is both mentally and emotionally draining but as is the irony of life at this crossroad in life I find myself right in between this situation from where I have been trying to run away from.

In hindsight I have never found myself so aggressive and short tempered before in my life.I don't know what's wrong with me but these kind of outburst are one day going to land me in a soup from which I wouldn't be able to recover.

I guess now I need to just start avoiding people and get away from this whole thing and stay out of sight.Though I know how much I hate doing this but I have done it before and it did me a world of good so why not once again.

God for once I was thinking I'll have a blog which truly reflects me the way I am, but the way the last few weeks have gone I guess I can't even document 20-30 mins of my best times here in AIM with (alienated) friends.

Life and it's complications...

After being through a lot emotionally today, one thing I have realized is that the only thing I should really care about are my parents...After all in the end of the day it's not my friends nor my girl friend who are responsible for me to be at the position I am...

The video on u-tube which Patrick posted today really brought a tear in my eye because I could relate to that video wholeheartedly....

After having spend the last 8 years of my life building and trying to sustain relationships, I have now realized the most important thing in my life is not the women in my life but my parents.I have been neglecting them for a while thinking that they think I am fine but at the end of the day I am answerable to them than anyone else...

God knows what he has projected for me but from where i am looking at the moment it seems that I am really screwed up in the wrong places.All I want is my own space and my own freedom to think...

I only hope that i get the required sanity and peace in the next few days so that I can at least keep in check my emotions.

Life has never been really fair to me and though I never ever had any grudge as yet i do understand why life has taken a turn for the worse...Given the way I have lived my life happily ever after I guess in the end of the day God has given up patience and set up his own agenda which is to be followed....

I hate the fact that I find myself like this...In my 26 years of existence I have always found myself to be alone when most needed and the only one I could go to at these times has been me itself...

I remember when I was around 19-20 and crave to be in a relationship with someone but since I have got to that stage I guess I have lost all innocence and zeal in life.I agree it is really nice to be in a relationship but the fact that it takes out so much from you as a person, sometimes I feel it would have been better if I was single for all my life...

Well in the end you learn from experiences and one thing I have learnt after today is to be frank and true irrespective of what the other person thinks...

Sorry dodo but this is what I really feel about the whole situation...:(

Sleep at last!!

After having operated the last few days practically as a zombie, the afternoon siesta of 4-5 hrs has rejuvenated me to such an extend that, I jogged and then went to gym for close to 2 hrs today.

After all the drunken revelry for the past month or two, I have taken a conscious decision to reduce the amount of alcohol intake into my body.

Also, the zeal to study has reappeared from nowhere and though I am still a long way away from full throttle, at least the beginning signs are good.

As for all the confusion and tensions in life, I have just decided to keep things as uncomplicated as I can. Period...

Clueless...n sleepy...

First things first...Mr Chaitanya, Mr deep and Mr Anton congratulations on winning the seat to the SA committee.

Secondly kudos yours truly that after so many weeks of lofty promises I finally did something I had planned to do in class.

Over the weekend I had decided that the "Infosys case" for GM would be creamed by me come Monday.However the weekend went in a blur and then after the frustration and self examination period of today morning where I indeed finished up on this reading, the lecture went exactly as I had imagined sans some small aberrations.

Well today has been a very funny day.Starting with MCS where I was caught by the prof (of all the prof's it had to be Prof.Bolante...What luck) playing on my cell and he perceived that I was sleeping in class.

Then in GM class after I had identified the crux of the matter for the case and creamed the CP point for the day, I ruined it all by first getting caught off guard during the discussion and then just before the end of the lecture when I was just logging in to my lappie, the pointer turned to me and I was caught off guard and clueless in class.Not a good thing to end with given the blazing start I had in the class today....

Well today I also soo wanted to go to the gym and work out till I died so that I would at least catch up on some sleep tonite.However given the way things things are going with me, my luck seems to have ran out.The gym still closed today and I am hoping it will be functional from tomorrow.

The run at the park was a good stress buster and gave me lot of time to myself and contemplate on a few things.

Only the next few days will show how well the planning and implementation goes as far as my thinking is concerned...

Right now I have too much on my plate.Have to go to "Gilligans" to celebrate Chai's and Deep's success as well as then come back and play ball with the guys (Cohort 4)...

Chalo tackle em one by one...:)

What the *#$%!!!

It's 6.50 am in the morning, I haven't slept a wink the whole of last night, my brain is blank and I have this uneasy feeling right now for what rhyme and reason I have no idea.

The fact that why am I putting my thoughts down here right now is a mystery to me...

After reading about Infosys in one of our GM reading for today, I am compelled to think about my time in Infosys...Those 3.5 yrs...Were they worth it? Did I have any value add? Was it beneficial to me in any way? Could I have done things differently?

The answer to all the above questions and many more is yes...There is so much regret in the way things went with me in Infosys and the way I handled the different situations.

True I had awesome fun and made some truly remarkable friends, but in hindsight I spent my time in Infosys not leveraging my thoughts and abilities.

There was soo much that could have been done and so much which sshould have been done...

Now that I am doing my MBA, I can find a parallel to the whole thing.

The trouble is with me.I set plans and then instead of following them to completion, keep changing it to my whims and wishes.Though I potray that I am only enjoying even in AIM, I
have learnt a lot in the past 4.5 months but it is now time to implement some of the plans which I intented to do during my MBA...for e.g.:- Market analysis on the sports sector in Asia and a few paper presentations for different college competition.

Well the countdown begin then and this time I intend to see it through the end.

Though I still don't understand why the hell am I so frustrated and edgy today morning...

Finance WAC nite...

What do you call a nite when the worst and the best of all happens with you..?

Where one moment you are enjoying what you are doing and the very next moment you hate everything in sight...When you feel like being in heavens and the very next moment find yourself in hell!!!

Something like this captures my feelings about the Finance WAC which we finished yesterday.
The gang as usual included the usual suspects of Amrita,Saumya,Chai,Aseem n me with intermittent appearances by Sup's and the ever presence of Cathy and Joanne.

The fact that it was a Finance WAC was in itself a big turn off to begin with and on top of that the calculations which accompanied the WAC were though quite easy but really time consuming....
Amrita helped me out with the calculations and I was on my way...But this where the twist in this story comes.Thanks to 2 of my friends (Chai n Saumya) who had no inclination to write their own WAC's there was a delay or should I say stoppage in the process of WACing when these 2 came and joined us.Chai specially was at his best, getting food for everyone and making them eat and then giving running commentary as events unfolded on my facebook page...

As for the DE project me and Chai had, I think after yesterday that will also wind up since we gave away free popcorns to almost everyone.

Well this being the frustrating and at the same time the most enjoyable time during the WAC.
Now to the best part.We had started the WAC at 9 pm...(me and Amrita)...And as the WAC progressed I was also helping myself to the drinks being offered outside.

Well by the time it was striking 2 am I had already given up on my WAC.The fact that I was the one who gave the calculations to Saumya and Chai bears no significance here but that they were way ahead of me by the time we completed the calculations was testimony to the excelsheet skills or should I specify the lack of those skills.
I hate the fact that I am not as good as the others atleast with these softwares n all...How the hell am I gonna fight this in the real world only time will tell...

Ok back to the WAC.So at 2 am when I was so zoned out to do nothing but either drink or sleep, Joy and Tarun appear from nowhere and after the evaluation for the WAC was written by Chai ,Tarun formatted the whole thing and Joy got it printed out and passed it in to WAC hole.

Had it not being for them I am sure I would have stuck around for another 2 hrs doing nothing but just day dreaming at night....Irony...:)

Anyways thanks for the memories guys...This WAC has been as I said one of the best and worst that I can remember in this short stint in this MBA...

Luv this batch...Cohort 4 rocks...:)

Choices...

Since the time I had been a little kid or should I say since the day I was born life has been all about choices.Sometimes I sit alone n wonder if there are parallel universe in existence where one can live out all the choice one makes one at a time.

Say for e.g if I hadn't been in the school I went to, how different would my life would have been now? Or for e.g. (& I so believe in this one) had I not done so well in my 10th then would I have taken science ever and gone on to being an engineer which I eventually did?
Or what if I was allowed to take the college of my choice during my junior college days?

There are so many if's & buts here that I can't even imagine the different possibilities and choices in life I have made and also let go of...

The irony of life is you never regret your decision at the time of making them but later when there is no point regretting...I mean come on, how can life get so complicated just because of a few decisions and choices.

When I reflect back in my life, it seems it wasn't the lack of choices that I had but the lack of enthusiasm to exercise the choices which I really wanted to make.Though whenever I have really gone beyond the threshold and made a choice I have stuck to it...So at least 1 brownie point for me there.

Given the fast paced life we are living in, every moment we make a choice regardless of whether we are aware of it or not...

My only wish is by the end of it all, I just hope I don't let go of so many choices that when I really wanna decide there are no choices left at all...:(...

Diving at Subic...

Water...Swimming...My waterloo...

My apprehension for swimming has been well known amongst my close friends especially if it is deeper than 6 feet so one can understand when I went ahead with my friends for a weekend trip to Subic to try out diving...

Subic Bay is part of Luzon sea on the west coast of the island of Luzon in Zambales, Philippines, about 100 kms northwest of Manila Bay.Its shores were formerly the site of a major U.S Navy facility.

The experience of diving was mind blowing and something that has to be done atleast once in life irrespective of the fear for the sea.

It was a whole new world down there at the sea bed and though we just dived in to about 5 mts deep, it seemed much more than that in the claustrophobic attire in which we were. However the sights and life at the sea bed was beautiful.

At the start when I was on my way down to the sea bed, it felt as if I was dying a slow death. However that all changed once I got aclimatized to my surrounding and overcame my fear and dislike of water.

Within the first 30 seconds due to the change in air pressure, my ear drums started paining like hell, and the concept of equalizing which we learnt in one of our diving sessions prior to the dive was well exercised.

However once at the sea bed and at peace with my surroundings, it was time to appreciate the blue world at the bottom. I had seen so many diving videos, but the actual visual was just something different.

It was difficult roaming around in the water, with all the diving equipment tucked to me, and it even difficult to walk on the sea bed because of the diving flippers we were given to wear.

For me and my friends who were first timers just like me, it was an experience of a lifetime and something we plan to do more often, now that we have been bitten by the diving bug.

Emile was our man of the hour who planned and executed the entire trip and was also the one who took care of us during the entire trip.

The guys from "Boardwalk dive centre" were phenomenol and taught us everything that was needed to know in the water as well as saw to it that we survived our first experience of diving and came back alive from the short adventure.

All in all an awesome weekend, well spent with friends, drinking, eating, sleeping and doing new things.

Watching "Live" basketball match in the Phillippines

I have been dying to post this entry for close to a month now but because of the time constraints, I had to let the urge to blog prolong for a while longer. (Finally doing it during FM lecture @ the start of term 2 in class...Can you beat that)... :)

The game I am talking about here is one of the most important games in the calender year for an average Filipino basketball supporter.

La Salle vs. Ateneo (Green vs. Blue) on paper might just seem to be a normal college basketball match, but in reality and by looking in to the history of these schools, the game is the biggest night for the school, it's players and more importantly it's fans.

For the first time in my life I realized how big a deal it is and how huge a business is "college sports". Having seen college level sports in U.S on television as a kid, having the privilege to watch one here in Manila has been an experience worth it's weight in gold.

A special thanks to Aina (my classmate) for forgoing the chance to go for the game herself and letting me and Harsh to go in her place instead. (She is a die-hard fan of La Salle and the one who told me about the games during the first few weeks of our MBA).

Now to the game...

Date:- 16th August'09.
Time:- 1700 hrs.
Venue:- Araneta Coliseum @ Cubao in Quezon City

The coliseum was filled with sea of blue and green; the official colors of the two teams.There were more than 4000 people for a college basketball game.This goes to show the popularity of the sport in this country.

The upper tier of the stadium housed the two school bands on either side of the coliseum blasting their drums and equipments to the raptures of the crowd below.

It seemed as if as the players sweated out on the court, the two bands sweated, competing against each other for the entire duration of the game and creating an amazing atmosphere within the stadium.

The fans of the two teams where phenomenal, with one side of the stadium depicting a sea of blue and the other side showcasing the floral color of green.

The entire set up was so electrifying and by the end of it all, it was not about the two teams or the score and who won and who lost, but the experience of being there.
The cacophony which the two school bands created in the coliseum was to be seen to be believed. They just electrified the entire arena with their drum wars and the fans were at it too.

All in all, a wonderful experience, and one to cherish for a long time to come.Thanks to Aina...

ps:- For anyone and everyone , if ever you guys are in Manila in during July-August,and have an opportunity to watch an Ateneo vs La Salle game, go for it...It's worth it...Trust me on this one.

Study Smart and Party Harder...

It's exactly 3 months since college has started for me here in AIM.3 months of awesome fun sans responsibilities; enjoying life to full marginal utility so to speak.After another awesome drinking session with friends, I am back in my room and with classes just 2 hrs away, I guess it's the perfect time to retrospect.

Given the mindset with which I had left India to do my MBA, I can easily say that those dreams were too lofty at best to fulfill.After just a week into the MBA I realized that hard work was one virtue that someone doing an MBA can't overlook or under emphasize.Few of my batch mates have defined new standards of handwork in context of an MBA and I am no one to compete with them.
With this rule imprinted on my mind n body there was only one thing to do and that was to enjoy life at Manila and party harder than ever.

The past 3 months have been a blur and though I did keep a track of each day as it happened (Something for which Amrita has already given me a hard time), the past few weeks have just rolled by like a supersonic train.

All my aspirations as an MBA student have evaporated and just like I did in engineering my main aim now has transcended to be able to just clear off each subject with a min grade of "P" or "P+"...:)...Well there goes my ambition...

But over the last three months I have realized that one of the important virtues which I need to develop is "patience" and to "control my anger" in public.The last few days have been suicidal to say the least picking fights with best of friends for no rhyme or reason.On top of that, I have been really lax towards my assignments and studying.Not that it matters much in the current scenario but yes looking at the way I am going, it could be very soon before I take a tumble for the worse.

Anyways with just 17 official days left before the dreaded term 1 ends all eyes are on the 6 day break and everyone has already starting planning for the trip out of town during that period.Hopefully I land up in a beautiful beach with friends sipping on beer all day long.

Well 3 months since AIM started and after numerous occasions of attending lectures I am in a dilemma to whether attend prof. LT's next FM-1 lecture which begins precisely in an hr and thirty mins without having had a wink of sleep.Well this should be a new experience which I am very excited to experience, so wish me luck...

I guess the success rate of surviving today's 2 lectures will go a long way in deciding whether my current lifestyle will help me stay just under the learning curve for the rest of the term.
Wish me luck...

Best exam ever...

It's been a while since I last blogged.I already have two post which I haven't published just because after having started on them, I left them midway, incomplete.Not that I have really been busy these past 2 weeks.However I haven't really managed my time that well to sit and blog for a substantial time up until now.

Well I am already on my 14th week in MBA @ AIM & with just about 17 days more to go for the term to end.It has been a roller coaster of ride up until now & I guess it will continue till the term ends...

Today we had our microeconomics final exam & it was one of the best exam taking experience I have encountered in my student life. Not only did our economics teacher ( Ms Patricia Lontoc), change the format of the paper an hour before the exam but it was one of the most interactive exams I have ever had and one which I would not forget in a hurry.

Finally after 3 months, the dreaded subject of economics is behind us.
Knowing that we would not be having anymore economics classes in the coming week is such a relief.

Right now I need to be by the pool side to go and celebrate Saumya's birthday and Chai is already by my side coaxing me to shut off my lappie and get going...
So Adios...

Up All Night...

I cannot fathom this...Actually I am astonished at myself...It's precisely 5.32 am on a Monday morning and I haven't slept a wink the whole night.

I guess this is one of the lowest points in my life as in I have never ever compromised my sleep so much for the sake of studies but the circumstances leading to Sunday night have led me to do this godforsaken sin of not sleeping at all.

I wasted the entire Saturday and 2/3rd of Sunday before actually kick starting my chores of assignments which are due in exactly 2.5 hrs.

Hence after spending a good part of 3 hrs doing MCP, and then giving equal amount of time for the OM assignment and wasting my afternoon doing an MM case for which I still haven't found a solution, I find myself in front of my laptop screen blogging at an hour when the whole of Philippines is sleeping or just about waking up from a good night's sleep...:(

On top of that, this was the first weekend when I haven't had a single drop of alcohol go into my system. All this because I wanted to test my self restrain...What a moron I am...

Plus the fact that I have played this up so much compels me to abstain or try to abstain from touching alcohol till Aug 15th...i.e. a good 19 days away...

How the hell am I gonna survive, god only knows...

The only good thing about this weekend has been playing cricket for a good 2 hours on Saturday afternoon (Aseem also had a good day with the bat...surprise surprise...:)) and enjoying myself and then spending quality time with close friends on the beer pub chatting the time away.

Our plan was to end by 2 am but as is the case with me and Chai in particular, we ended up sitting and chatting with Nishant n all till 5 am in the morning.

Thus, because of these small atrocities which I committed during the weekend, the end result has been that I had to compensate the time spend with my precious Sunday night sleep.

I have no idea how I am going to survive the 3 hard core lectures tomorrow.
I just hope I retain my sanity till 12.20 pm...

Good morning people...:)

Btw this Day 46 @ AIM main...and day 56 in total...

Cheers...

QA exam # 3 in less than 8 hrs...

Can't believe how lethargic and irresponsible I have become.I have started taking this MBA course very lightly...

I have an exam in less than 8hrs and instead of sitting and solving I am right now blogging this shit...

On top of that though I started in earnest at 7 pm but till 10 pm, I had no idea that I can't creata an ANNOVA table on my excel sheet on my comp...

Then started the process of getting hold of another laptop where I could use Excel 07 to get the desired software and hence the desired table...

Thanks to Harsh I at least now know what I have to do tomorrow for the problems which are to come in the exam, but this would be like the first Math or Quant exam where I will be going without having practiced even one sum or problem on my own.

Plus for the last one hour I have been listening to Indian Ocean and downloaded "n" no. of gadgets from Windows live to use on my comp.Talk about wasting time and I think I am the king today.

Hopefully with God's grace I'll clear tomorrow and get the much needed exemption and hope I don't make such a mistake again...

Anyways fingers crossed and back to problem no. 4 of group problem set for me...

Yellow!!

Why is that I am seeing yellow everywhere today...
First for breakfast I got a really yellow colored scramble egg...:)
Then I saw Cherry in a nice yellow tee and then a female who was smoking near the pool side was wearing this really nice full on yellow high heels and to top that even Cathy has a yellow top today.

I know this sounds really girlie but then what is it with yellow today.
Plus right now I am listening to yellow- coldplay...

One more observation...The Juventus jersey I am wearing today has the name of its sponsor " New Holland" also in yellow...

Plus in QA class today there was a yellow colored Wendy's cold drink container...Talk about yellow...

I feel so yellow already...

Haha...

9.5 hr struggle...

Date: 21st July'09
Venue: SGV case-room
Occasion: LOB final exam...

The mother of all final exams...
I can easily say that without any second thoughts...

The pain started at 8.30 am in the morning and finished at precisely 6.10 pm for me...Can you beat that...
I have never even stayed in office for so long...:)

It was one harrowing experience which I actually enjoyed...well most parts of it...

After a while I had sat down trying to solve something from scratch on my own and that felt good...However the lack of knowledge with ratios and the lack of financial insights were enough to put me off the entire thing within the starting few hrs.

In the end I finished off with 4 pages of excel sheet full of ratios, balance sheets, income statements and numbers and 8 pages of analysis and recommendation for which I myself will not give a dime to anyone...

It was an experience I'll never forget and also the people with whom I was subjected to this torture...

So to all who were present with me for the god forsaken exam....Cheers...

(Maxi,Bea,Mac,Veron,Aina,Preeti,Mary,Sups,Mukul,Manish,Saurabh,
Anton,James,Jimmy,Preetesh,Saumya,Vivek Golhar & yours truly)

ps:- the guys of our batch are a really sweethearts..actually everyone is...They got us Pizza for lunch from Yellow Cab...Actually there are the ones also to be blamed for my reduced efficiency since after lunch I was so full with pizza that I wanted to doze off on Mr. Porter Lumber Company Inc* ratios...

Dead End

I have no idea how, why and when but I kind of find myself in situations where I have to decide on a issue from either point of view.

It's been a trait since I have been in college that I find friends on opposite sides with different agendas and I am the one knowing what each one is thinking about the other but powerless to intervene because at the end of the day it's not my prerogative nor issue to barge into someone else's life.

However knowing myself I can't just stand aside and see people self destruct or in most cases make a bad decision they might regret later.

All said and done, I am not saying that I am always right and that my word is the final word but then sometimes the things are so visible but still difficult to figure.

Anyways the way I look at it, it's been like this with since I was a kid, I get really frustrated when I know I don't have a control over the situation when I very well know that where is the problem...Weird isn't it?

Well now lets get to the nice part. Yesterday after struggling the whole evening to get my system to respond to FM 1, I finally gave at 12 midnight and headed to Malate with Saurabh in tow to join Aseem, Akshel and Kosy (Akshel's friend).

The place :- "Penguin" was full of energy with a live band churning out jazzy version of some nice songs all through the night.

Their cover of Enter Sandman blew my mind away and then the covers of Flintstone & Pink Panther were sweet. All in all the place was high on energy and very much like Leopold's back home though the atmosphere here was 1000 notches up than the one back in Leo's.

After the place shut down at 2 am we headed back to the campus and to Kosy's condo where we planned to drink up on screw-drivers and have some mcdonald's breakfast...Nash & Hesh also joined us there and as the night grew longer the house party grew wilder...:)

Anyways I had to retire out by 4.30 am since I have a LOB exam on Tuesday where as the rest of the fuckers have a holiday...

Curse myself for playing the nice guy again...When will I understand that "Last guys always finish last".

Well I'll still try proving the above sentence wrong.For the time being for sure...

Cheers...

A WAC on Economics...Beat that...

WAC- acronym for Written analysis of Cases.


After a week which started with the disastrous macro-economics exams which I am so gonna flunk the institute comes up another ace up their sleeve on a Friday with a WAC on Economics...*$&$%$#...

3 hrs in the afternoon from 1.30 to 4.30 pm for a case which was 10 page long with more than 10 exhibits was not a way to start a weekend or end a school week.

Anyways after crapping for 1200 words of which not even 10 made sense I finished the WAC well before time thanks to my state of mind which is really messed up.

On top of that, the impending LOB main exam which is slated for the whole of Tuesday is freezing my brain to death. 5 more quiz marks and I would have been one my way to a trip this weekend with Harsh and Akshel. Instead I'll have to struggle with LOB for today and QA and FM and MCP for the rest of the weekend before another gruesome week starts at AIM.

Man am I fed up with this life already? No time to breathe or contemplate for even a moment what am I doing, why am I doing it and for whom am I doing it?

I really hope I get through the next whole week somehow the other.
Life is turning out not the way I envisioned and I guess it's time to take stringent measures before some thing gives way.

Well for now I can feel happy that I did well in the first WAC and also our Learning team stood for each other during the meeting with prof Larry Tan...

Time to unwind and recharge the batteries for another week in AIM... :)

Walk in the rain!!!

Since the past 2 days I was having this insatiable urge of going for a jog in the rain. Today finally I was able to exercise my wish.

After the OM lecture got concluded at 11 a.m in the morning, I had a quick breakfast and then hit the road in my jogging track to enjoy the mid day heavy rain which was so similar to the one encountered back home in Mumbai.

The jog cum walk was a blissful experience with music in tow.I have no idea where I went I just followed the my mind and just started running where ever the road lead me.

This used to be my favorite past time back home. However due to the lack of physical activity as a part of my curriculum in AIM, I have been feeling a bit low for the past few days. There is nothing interesting to do here at the institute and to roam around the city I need company which is difficult because people have their own priorities plus there are the cases to be done too...

However back to jogging.I saw so many streets and their names but now when I try to recollect I can't even remember one...:)
But yeah it was fun finally venturing out near the institute and seeing first hand what all is there around AIM.

So now I know that I have a flower shop around the corner, a coffee shop which is open till late night, a pub which gives 3 beer for 100 pesos till 12 in the night and there is a pawn shop just behind the park where we plan frees-bee in the evenings.

All in all a perfect way to spend a lazy rainy day.Now I need to get ready for my HBO lecture which is scheduled in the next 35 mins. A hot shower ought to be great...

Game on...

Let the games begin...It's been two weeks since I have done anything constructive and it seems this whole week is going to be like this too.

I am so missing people back home...

Why is it that a person is never happy with his present, always aspiring for his future to come to reality today or go back to the past and redo most things.

I have been aspiring to do my MBA ever since I got out of engineering and now when I am finally doing one, it seems as if I am not making the most out of it.

Life has become so monotonous now that I don't even feel like going to classes now a days.
It's the same old voices doing cp in class and a few helpless souls like me wandering around hoping to get a hint of things from somewhere or the other so as to improve our own cp grade.

I have never been a firm believer of grade based learning and more so in an MBA where every person is inherently different with different perspectives and experiences. How can one be judged by how one does in a particular subject.What if a person doesn't know accounting or is not good with numbers or flowcharts , but is very good with people skills and leadership.
Do you just flunk a person because he can't balance an account sheet....

I agree you need minimum skills in every subject but to procrastinate someone for a single failure is unfair in my opinion.

However right now I can't be angry at the situation.
I just need to find the inspiration to get myself by the next few weeks and hope that I get my mojo back, so that I can survive the next few weeks before the most awaited break comes knocking on the door.

:) :) :)

Rambling...

She will be loved-Maroon 5...
That's what I am listening to right now...

What a beautiful song...
I know people perceive me as an extrovert, aggressive, happy go lucky guy and I am not denying that...
However there is another part of me which even I really don't know about...??? (To be discussed later...)

Btw I saw Ice Age again yesterday...And this time I memorized the 3 rules.So here it goes...

Rule no 1:- Always listen to Buck.

Rule no 2:- Always walk in the middle of the trail.

Rule no 3:- The one who leaks gas walks last... :)

Well I feel like just going to Goa right now.Just walk around on the beach of Candolim...enjoying the serene beauty the place has to offer and enjoy the sea...

I remember when back in Mumbai, I used have theses phases when I used to wake up at 5 am in the morning and drive my car all around south Mumbai and then head to Juhu beach or Rock beach around 6.30 am to enjoy the sea breeze and the energy the place provided.

those were the days when there was no responsibility on my shoulders, when all I had to worry about was when is the next match scheduled and whom I am playing...

Fast forward to the present and now I am really wondering if this is what I want. Is it all worth it...?

Separation from friends back home...? Family...?

p.s:- I really need to start controlling my anger.Went off twice yesterday...I think I should go back to my resolution...
Starts from right now...Lets see how long can I go this time...

I really don't know why I am even putting this up, but I have this urge now to just write so here it is...:)

Proactive or Reactive...

Yesterday I wrote about trade-offs and compromises.
Now I am thinking about "is it worth it?"...
Should I think like an economist and plan to save for tomorrow and consume less today (read consume for me is to have more recreation and fun)...

Should I study more, socialize less, reduce sleeping time and enjoy the MBA experience as a vagabond or should I stress myself and study as hard as I can, ace the classes and quizzes and trade-off on my personal "me" time i.e. sports, fun and friends.

Or should I take the middle path and be smart about my work as our mentor advised us during our session with him.Prioritize your work follow a schedule and come prepared to class as well as allow yourself enough free time to enjoy the MBA experience as well as the sights n beauties of this country.

Now prioritize is another new concept which is alien to me unless and until it is applied to sports...:)

For the past few days I have been in this conundrum of whether I should exert more of myself in studies and gain the most out of this classroom teaching or should I continue as always and just stay above the bell curve.

I spent 4 years of engineering telling myself that I was good enough for the course and I don't need to prove myself to anyone...I used to tell myself that I have the capability as well as the will power and intellect to beat the best when I wanted.

But that was then and I don't see myself coming out of that wave of thought even now. I am doing the same damn mistake which I did during my engineering of giving up even before trying.

So where is the dilemma?

Is it that I should work n study at my full potential or should I just rest back and wait for a shock to hit be before I react to it...

Well as of now, as I get ready to take another exam in this roller coaster of a ride called MBA in AIM ( I have my macro-Eco main paper is precisely 45 mins), I guess I'll leave the decision to react or to be pro reactive to a later date/time.

However I plan to solve this puzzle in my head with in the next few days and then not look back at it for a very long time.

I just hope I come to a decision very soon, because I don't like to be indecisive...Period...

Childhood Memories...

Just a short list of things I loved when I was a kid...

1.] The wonder years...

2.] Playing cricket all by myself in the bedroom bouncing the ball off the wall along with scoreboards and stuff...( Full 50 over matches at that)...

3.] Playing chess alone...(That's the reason I got better at the game although I still don't have the patience to play chess with someone who ponders on his/her every move)...Rapid chess rocks...

4.] Spending time on my terrace, looking at the high rises of Lokandwala every morning and evening...

5.] I loved cycling...Used to cycle during the summer vacation to the rock beaches in Versova...Bliss...

6.] Dekh Bhai Dekh...Another killer show I loved...

7.] I loved doing math when I was a kid...The reason being it was the only subject for which I was allowed to listen to music while studying.

8.] I was & am a very huge Asterix & Obelix fan.I used to take a new book from the library every week to read.Ditto with the Tintin collection.

9.] Boyzone was my favorite band while at school...

10.] I used to love walking on the streets of Lokandwala with my friends.There were so many occasions during the rainy season when I would trot off alone.

11.] Playing cricket in the colony every Sunday afternoon was a ritual which I followed till like last year.(I guess since most of my building folks are already married this recreation was bound to end).

12.] I used to love roaming around Christmas and Diwali in Lokandwala because the streets would be lighted up and decorated and there used be a buzz around the place.

13.] I regret the fact that I didn't start playing football serious when I was still at school.

14.] The highlight of my school life was when I became the house captain for my house.(It was completely unexpected since I was pitted against some very well known scholars but my little cousin sis did the publicity for me and asked the juniors to vote for me, and so I was the captain for the last yr of my school) :)...Thanks a lot Neha...

15.] I used to love watching Fun time from 12 pm to 1pm everyday during the summer vacations.

16.] I enjoyed watching Telematches on T.V and thought one day I would too compete in it...

17.] The small wonder...Viki Lawson et all...

18.] GI-Joe, tom & Jerry and He-man...Favorite animation series...

19.] I used to love watching "Lassie..." the series as well as "The Black Stallion".

20.] Loved reading the "Hardy Boys". Had a whole collection of it...