Mindfucked...

Disclaimer:- If you want a happy post to read and feel good...turn away from this page...Ain't happening today...:(

Freaking pissed off in life right now.With myself, with my life, with my surroundings...Every second day I feel like running out of this place and go to my safe abode. I am fed up putting up a happy demeanor for everyone around me...Seriously man!!

Bloody I am suppose to understand everyone's problem (n by this I don't mean you Meg so don't draw any conclusions here...plz...) but when it comes to myslef I am left to fend it off for myself. Agreed I prefer it that way n I can even handle it but atleast give me my space.

I hate this stifling life I am leading...I guess one of the reasons could be the amount of free time I am affording myself... I really need to get busy again n invest my time intelligently and into more productive things.

On top of that, most people here are preoccupied with their own things, I don't even know whom to run to...I the one person I could run to, I can't because of my own insecurities...

I know this blog is going to piss a lot of people but I am taking the chance because it's the only way I can get this frustration out of my system...

It really pisses me off when people say that they know me really well and know the reason behind my every action. Cmon... Even I don't know what I am going to do the very next moment and then you tell me that you know me... plz give me a break here...

I kind of remember my college days where I practically spent my whole day wiling away my time just to wait for evening when I could get to Sambit's building to play football and express myself completely...

It been such a long time since I have expressed myself completely. First there was football in Pune to do that, but then I quit the company. Then I had squash to rout out my frustration and express myself completely. But what now... Alcohol doesn't work for me cause that will be like too saddistic...I don't like the gym that much to exhaust all my energy over there and with blogs it leads to unneccesary confusion and mindless squabbles.

Well then what am I suppose to do... I can't let this affect me anymore...I need to take control of my life and it begins right now...

I have been wiling away time for the past 4-5 years doing nothing productive and its high time I repay my parents for their love, devotion and trust.

I hear where you coming from now Divya... May be I am neglecting the major things in life for the not so major frills of life at the moment.

And yeah, the temper is flaring up again...I guess this MBA experience is really testing my patience in anger management. I remember losing my cool before too but now days I am on such a short fuse that I don't know what n why am I doing?

N on top of that, I hate people crying and especially because of me... There are already a few people who have cried because of me and I hate it... I don't think I am ever going to forgive myself for making people in my life crying...People who care for me and really love me , end of crying too...I just don't get the drift...

Anyways enough of rambling...This one could open up another pandora box tomorrow but I really don't care anymore...My sentiments are pouring out and I am liking it...

Whatever happens next, it will take care of itself...