Bored To Death with mundane Existence

Life's back to same old death knell like it was before I went to do my MBA...:(

Working life sucks...N when you are in a job for which you have no inclination or motivation to do well, it sucks even more... There is no doubt about that what so ever.
So what makes me go to the same work place 5 days a week for an average of 12 hrs everyday to bust my ass off. What motivates me to go through this ordeal day in - day out...
Well if I had the answer, I wouldn't have been blogging...right...:)

The 16 months at AIM had filled a sense of optimism in me, that post MBa I would be able to follow my dream and realize it easily. However the situation at ground level is completely different. Getting a job itself is an arduous task now a days, so one can imagine my plight trying to make a foray in to an industry in which I have no experience what so ever, though the determination and passion to do well knows no bound.

After 16 months of (I wouldn't say arduous) learning, strategizing, implementing and understanding different marketing jargons and models, I thought I was ready to jump into the word of marketing, branding and advertising and make a huge difference in the industry.
However, I couldn't have been farther from the truth. Not only getting a foot in a marketing job is difficult at the moment I am finding it difficult to get a toe nail in to this vertical.

I just don't understand these economical forecast made by different banks, publicationsand research companies saying that India is a growing economy and there is no stopping its progress. How can I believe this hog wash when I and my peers are struggling to get a job in an industry we prefer. The only industry willing to hire and is hiring at the moment is the ITELS industry. With most of my MBA-Engineering background batchmates have found themself getting into the same set up in an IT company as a Business Associate or a Project Manager I guess only IT is fuelling India's growth engine at present.

Going back to the question of what motivates to continue with this meaningless existence is the knowledge at the back of my mind that 30th of every month my bank account will be compensated for the frustration of the preceding 30 days with a good salary to boot.
However what's the use of getting money to spend when you don't have the time to spend it. After a 12 hr routine at the work place and an avg of 7 hrs of sleep, and counting around an hr for commuting to the workplace and back, I am left with a paltry 4 hrs.

Well atleast my parents seem to be reaping the benefits of my salary at long last. However the frustration within is quite visible to them too.

So what's the solution.... Pre-MBA I would have answered- Go get an MBA and switch industries.
During MBA - The MBA has taught me so many things and enabled me to look at things differently. I have a flair for marketing; it wouldn't be difficult to land a job of my choice. After all I am empowered to choose what I want to do...lol
Post MBA- Lag gayi re waat, zindagi main...Abhi kudh ka business karneka sochna padega...Afterall I have learnt a lot in the MBA; isn't it...

Death- A Reality

Its after 5 years that I am back, living in the city which has been my home since birth. Mumbai the city of dreams for many, is just home for me...Nothing more or less...
However the familiar faces which were a constant fixture in my childhood and teens are slowly but surely fading away. In the past 2 years, the faces which adorned my childhood and were a constant distraction then, have perished to the wishes of Yama (Death-God in Indian Mythology).
As a kid, I was always apprehensive of growing older. As time went by and I progressed from being a school kid to a teenager and then a engineering student and then a professional, and till date, I have this notion in my head that all of this is a dream and sooner or later I'll wake up from it and find myself playing cricket in school with my friends...wishful thinking right...
However at the same time when I was growing into a not so mature adult, my mom n dad, relatives, uncles n aunts etc were aging too... I am not sure if anyone has noticed this but we tend to disregard the ageing of people closest to us while we are growing.
I used to think that my mom n dad would never age and my dad will be the superman he was 12-15 years back...(not that he isn't now at 72...)
But with reality sinking in now, and the constant reminder of the near and dear ones losing their battles with life, it frightens me to even think of the future.
However it is destiny and when the time comes a person has to embrace it no matter what. I just wish all the souls who have left for a better place, a peaceful abode....

Proactive or Reactive...

Yesterday I wrote about trade-offs and compromises.
Now I am thinking about "is it worth it?"...
Should I think like an economist and plan to save for tomorrow and consume less today (read consume for me is to have more recreation and fun)...

Should I study more, socialize less, reduce sleeping time and enjoy the MBA experience as a vagabond or should I stress myself and study as hard as I can, ace the classes and quizzes and trade-off on my personal "me" time i.e. sports, fun and friends.

Or should I take the middle path and be smart about my work as our mentor advised us during our session with him.Prioritize your work follow a schedule and come prepared to class as well as allow yourself enough free time to enjoy the MBA experience as well as the sights n beauties of this country.

Now prioritize is another new concept which is alien to me unless and until it is applied to sports...:)

For the past few days I have been in this conundrum of whether I should exert more of myself in studies and gain the most out of this classroom teaching or should I continue as always and just stay above the bell curve.

I spent 4 years of engineering telling myself that I was good enough for the course and I don't need to prove myself to anyone...I used to tell myself that I have the capability as well as the will power and intellect to beat the best when I wanted.

But that was then and I don't see myself coming out of that wave of thought even now. I am doing the same damn mistake which I did during my engineering of giving up even before trying.

So where is the dilemma?

Is it that I should work n study at my full potential or should I just rest back and wait for a shock to hit be before I react to it...

Well as of now, as I get ready to take another exam in this roller coaster of a ride called MBA in AIM ( I have my macro-Eco main paper is precisely 45 mins), I guess I'll leave the decision to react or to be pro reactive to a later date/time.

However I plan to solve this puzzle in my head with in the next few days and then not look back at it for a very long time.

I just hope I come to a decision very soon, because I don't like to be indecisive...Period...